Funny T-Shirt | BrooklynCovered

You will find a funny t-shirt in the weirdest places.

So, out of the blue, for the first time ever, I received a catalog from a firm named “The Best of Collections, Etc.”
 
At first, I thought someone was coming after me for the money I owed them.
 
Well, turns out it is one of those sales catalogs which resembles the old Fingerhut catalogs. Folksy, cute, and once directed to a different demographic.
Well, being a marketer always on the lookout for new ideas, I took a few minutes to skim through the magazine.

Everything seemed normal until page 81

All of the offerings seemed rather normal, especially the “As seen on TV” offerings. Then, I turned to page 81 for some first-class belly laughs.

The first (and best) T-Shirt read,
“Roll roll roll your joint, twist it at the end, light it up and take a puff, then pass it to a friend.”
Now, I don’t condone the use of drugs, but come on, even Katt Williams may use that little ditty in one of his comedy concerts.
Called the lady who is going to produce my upcoming podcast and the first thing she said was, “That’s hilarious!”
Second thing? “You are not going to say that on the air!”
Hah. Wait’ll she reads this.
Some of my other favorites were:
“Don’t rush me! I’m waiting for the last minute!” and,
“I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.”
“Once in a while someone AMAZING comes along … and HERE I AM!”

Another good one would close with a bang

And one which should become another favorite of funeral directors everywhere, “Just before I die, I’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels. MY CREMATION IS GOING TO BE EPIC!”
That one should be a warning to spouses everywhere – make sure there is enough life insurance for a regular burial.

Our last time?

The really funny thing about me receiving this catalog? In big, bold letters are the words, “Is This Goodbye? Unfortunately, postage and printing costs have increased, so shop today to continue receiving our great values. Place an order soon, or this could be your LAST CATALOG!”
Wow.
Last catalog.

Funny thing is, this was the first time I ever received this catalog.

If it is to be the last one, at least I got a humorous blog post out of it.
Happy New Year everyone! May the year 2021 be filled with prosperity, joy, excellent health, and all the success you and those you love can handle!

About the author

Eustace L. Greaves, Jr., LUTCF is an NYS-licensed Independent Insurance Agent and Broker with over 38 years of experience. He is celebrating 25 years as an Independent Insurance Agency Owner.

Like to speak with Eustace?

Eustace is ready to assist you with your life, disability, home, flood, renters, auto, cooperative and condominium, and wedding insurance needs. He can be reached at 718-783-2722, or by email at eustace@insuremeeg.com. You can also contact him by going to his website, https://greavesinsurance.com, and completing any of the available “Contact Us” forms.

How to subscribe to his newsletter

If you’d like to subscribe to his monthly newsletter, “Health, Safety, and Good News You Can Use,” go to his website, https://greavesinsurance.com, and click on any of the “Subscribe” buttons.

Have insurance, income tax, real estate, mortgage, or home inspection questions for Eustace? He’ll be happy to provide the insurance and income tax answers and will continue to call on his expert contacts for help in the other areas. Just email him at eustace@insuremeeg.com with the subject line, “Ask Eustace.”

What is a Loan Estimate?

graphic of a one-family house that speaks to the need for a home mortgage
Home is where the heart is.

What is a Loan Estimate?

Recently, a client asked me the following question:

“It has been years since I took out a mortgage. I notice that instead of the old Good Faith Estimate, I am getting a Loan Estimate. What is a Loan Estimate? Are they the same thing?”

When It’s Out of Your Comfort Zone, Seek Help

I am comfortable and qualified to questions concerning life, disability, home, flood, renters, auto, co-op, and condominium insurance. I don’t possess the same knowledge levels about mortgages. So, I reached out to three of the top home mortgage lenders I know for their insights about the new Loan Estimate form.

Somehow, I know this will cost me big time down the road.

My Panel of Experts Answer The Question of “What Is A Loan Estimate?”

 

Ennell Esperance, a Senior Home Lending Advisor (NMLS ID: 68006) with the Home Lending Division of JPMorgan Chase Bank, provided me with some recent history about this topic.

In 2015, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, a government agency that regulates consumer financial instruments such as mortgages, retired the Good Faith Estimate form (in part) and created the Loan Estimate form.

On the Good Faith Estimate form,  lenders used their own language to describe the loans. Multiple estimates could seem very different. Consumers were confused by that document.

How Does The Loan Estimate Work?

 

The new Loan Estimate consolidates four forms into two: the Loan Estimate and the Closing Disclosure.

The new Loan Estimate is a three-page form that you receive within three business days after you apply. It is not a loan approval or rejection. It simply gives you loan terms, projected payments, and closing costs for review.

Standardized Wording in The Loan Estimate


Leon T. Gelzer, Sr., (NMLS ID: 41256), is a Santander Bank Community Reinvestment Act (CRA) officer and Community Mortgage Development Loan Officer. He described how the Loan Estimate standardizes the wording that lenders can use. You’ll see which costs are fixed and which are not, allowing you to shop lenders.

Leon went on to say it also prevents surprise fees by establishing tolerance levels. If you do take the loan and the fee amount estimated is more than the amount paid, the lender makes up the difference.

I would imagine every mortgage lender does their best to avoid this reality.

How Loan Estimate Costs Are Broken Down

Peter Chace, a Mortgage Loan Officer (NMLS ID: 206181), with TD Bank directed me to the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau’s website to view samples of the Loan Costs and Closing Disclosure forms (Click Here to go to the CFPB website) and highlighted how costs are also broken down in the following categories:

  • Loan Costs (origination charges, services you can’t shop for and services you can shop for) and Other Costs (taxes, government recording fees, pre-paid fees, and initial escrow payments, for example).

  • Closing Disclosure
    The Closing Disclosure is a five-page form that buyers receive before closing. It has the final terms and costs associated with the mortgage and specifies the amount of money you need on-hand at closing. Buyers can easily compare the Loan Estimate to the Closing Disclosure. Buyers will have three (3) days to review the form and ask questions.

I want to thank these gentlemen for being so generous in sharing their time with me, and ultimately, you.

Let’s Thank Our Experts

Here is the contact information you’ll need to reach of our experts who contributed:

Ennell Esperance can be reached by telephone at
718-810-7680, and by email at ennell.esperance@chase.com;
Leon T. Gelzer, Sr.’s office number is 718-302-5418. Leon’s email address is leon.gelzer@santander.us.
Peter Chace can be reached by telephone at 917-715-2818. Peter’s email address is Peter.chace@td.com.

You can also find a copy of the full Loan Estimator, with completed samples in English and Spanish at https://www.consumerfinance.gov/policy-compliance/guidance/mortgage-resources/tila-respa-integrated-disclosures/forms-samples/

Eustace L. Greaves, Jr., LUTCF is an NYS-licensed Independent Insurance Agent and Broker with over 38 years of experience. Eustace is ready to assist you with your life, disability, home, flood, renters, auto, cooperative and condominium, and wedding insurance needs, and can be reached at 718-783-2722, or by email at eustace@insuremeeg.com. You can also contact him by going to https://greavesinsurance.com and completing any of the available “Contact Us” forms.

If you’d like to subscribe to his monthly newsletter, “Health, Safety, and Good News You Can Use,” just to his website, https://greavesinsurance.com, and click on any of the “Subscribe” buttons.

Have insurance, income tax, real estate, mortgage, or home inspection questions for Eustace? He’ll be happy to provide the insurance and income tax answers and will continue to call on his expert contacts for help in the other areas. Just send him an email to eustace@insuremeeg.com with the subject line, “Ask Eustace.”

Let’s Set The Record Straight About – Customizing Your Insurance

Today’s clever insurance commercials are a necessary evil. They provide more information about bundling and saving, and less about the coverages you, your family, and your business really need.

We can change that by simply asking the right questions.

Customizing Your Insurance

There is no insurance company that owns a monopoly on helping you customize your insurance.

None.

Commercials, Commercials, Commercials

Commercials are designed to increase brand awareness using gimmicks including celebrity spokespersons, animals, car crashes and chases, and well, anything they think you will remember when it is time to buy insurance.

Does Every Company Allow You To Customize Your Insurance?

You can customize your home, life, auto, renters, co-op, condo, disability, long term care, personal umbrella, and yes, even your flood insurance with any company licensed to do business in the State of New York as well as every other state in the Union.

Every company gives you the ability to customize your insurance.

Every single one.

Problem is, most consumers aren’t served by most of the television commercials aired today.

They are simply goaded into a perpetual state of dissatisfaction with their current carrier, even when their current carrier is doing a good job for them.

It’s What Consumers Don’t Know About Their Insurance Which Hurts Them

Each year, I make at least 25 insurance-based presentations for HUD-approved housing agencies and organizations such as Neighborhood Housing Services of New York City, Harlem Churches for Community Improvement, and Impacct. I always ask those in attendance to tell me what their automobile insurance coverages are. Inevitably, 14 out of 15 give the same answer, “Full Coverage.”

Not 25/50/10.

Not 250/500/100.

Full coverage.

And when I ask them how much their policies cover in the event of an accident, they usually reply that they’re not really sure, but they did save money by bundling their home and auto.

Yay,

Buying What You Need Is A Two-Edged Sword

As long as the policy or policies quoted for you meet your state’s required minimum coverages limits, buying the cheapest policy or bundle possible is actually all you need.

What if though, you just struck and killed a pedestrian, or lost control of your vehicle and totaled a house. Will your policy provide you with the actual amount of money you will need when the jury hands down some obscenely massive award against you?

Imagine coming home to find;

  • Your home on fire.
  • Two (2) feet of toxic sewage water sloshing about your finished basement.
  • Burglars paid you an expensive visit while you are at work or the market.
  • Your good dog had a bad day.
  • There are three feet of floodwater in your home and you don’t own a flood insurance policy.

What Questions Should I Ask?

  • What, if any hoops must I jump through in case of a claim?
  • Are policy coverages or exceptions more important to know?
  • Why do I have duties after a loss?
  • In the event of a covered cause of loss, how easily will my claim be settled?
  • Is your claim service fair?


What Should My Insurance Company and/or Independent Agent and Broker teach Me?

  • Why buying home insurance based on your home’s replacement cost is essential.
  • How to determine your condominium and cooperative apartment “walls in” insurance coverage based on what a licensed contractor would charge to completely repair fire or water damaged walls, ceilings, and floors.
  • The importance for renters to complete a personal home inventory, down to the last sweat sock.
  • How owning Life and Disability insurance will prevent financial disaster should death or disability destroy the earning power of a family breadwinner.
  • Reasons why every property policy should include Water and Sewer Backup coverage. And why every cooperative and condominium apartment owner should add the Loss Assessment endorsement to their coverage.
  • Why buying flood insurance, even when their home is not in a high-risk flood zone, is a smart financial move.

And, of course, what coverages do I actually need to protect my family and home from most disasters?

The other day a woman asked me for my honest opinion of who I felt was the best insurance company out there.

My answer?

The one with whom you secured the proper policies, with sufficient coverages, which is in force at the time of your claim.

A company that won’t make you jump through hoops to settle a  claim fairly. An independent insurance agent and broker willing and able to service your policies. With premiums accurately reflecting the coverages your policies provide.

Nothing else matters.

As for the commercials, well, give my regards to Broadway.

At least until we can enjoy live theater again. Until then, stay healthy and safe.

 

Eustace L. Greaves, Jr., LUTCF is an independent insurance agent and broker, licensed to conduct business in New York State. Contact Eustace at 718-783-2722, 718-489-2218, by email at eustace@insuremeeg.com or by completing the contact form on this page, or  one of the many contact forms on his website, https://greavesinsurance.com.