You will find a funny t-shirt in the weirdest places.
So, out of the blue, for the first time ever, I received a catalog from a firm named “The Best of Collections, Etc.”
At first, I thought someone was coming after me for the money I owed them.
Well, turns out it is one of those sales catalogs which resembles the old Fingerhut catalogs. Folksy, cute, and once directed to a different demographic.
Well, being a marketer always on the lookout for new ideas, I took a few minutes to skim through the magazine.
Everything seemed normal until page 81
All of the offerings seemed rather normal, especially the “As seen on TV” offerings. Then, I turned to page 81 for some first-class belly laughs.
The first (and best) T-Shirt read,
“Roll roll roll your joint, twist it at the end, light it up and take a puff, then pass it to a friend.”
Now, I don’t condone the use of drugs, but come on, even Katt Williams may use that little ditty in one of his comedy concerts.
Called the lady who is going to produce my upcoming podcast and the first thing she said was, “That’s hilarious!”
Second thing? “You are not going to say that on the air!”
Hah. Wait’ll she reads this.
Some of my other favorites were:
“Don’t rush me! I’m waiting for the last minute!” and,
“I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.”
“Once in a while someone AMAZING comes along … and HERE I AM!”
Another good one would close with a bang
And one which should become another favorite of funeral directors everywhere, “Just before I die, I’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels. MY CREMATION IS GOING TO BE EPIC!”
That one should be a warning to spouses everywhere – make sure there is enough life insurance for a regular burial.
Our last time?
The really funny thing about me receiving this catalog? In big, bold letters are the words, “Is This Goodbye? Unfortunately, postage and printing costs have increased, so shop today to continue receiving our great values. Place an order soon, or this could be your LAST CATALOG!”
Funny thing is, this was the first time I ever received this catalog.
If it is to be the last one, at least I got a humorous blog post out of it.
Happy New Year everyone! May the year 2021 be filled with prosperity, joy, excellent health, and all the success you and those you love can handle!
About the author
Eustace L. Greaves, Jr., LUTCF is an NYS-licensed Independent Insurance Agent and Broker with over 38 years of experience. He is celebrating 25 years as an Independent Insurance Agency Owner.
Like to speak with Eustace?
Eustace is ready to assist you with your life, disability, home, flood, renters, auto, cooperative and condominium, and wedding insurance needs. He can be reached at 718-783-2722, or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also contact him by going to his website, https://greavesinsurance.com, and completing any of the available “Contact Us” forms.
How to subscribe to his newsletter
If you’d like to subscribe to his monthly newsletter, “Health, Safety, and Good News You Can Use,” go to his website, https://greavesinsurance.com, and click on any of the “Subscribe” buttons.
Have insurance, income tax, real estate, mortgage, or home inspection questions for Eustace? He’ll be happy to provide the insurance and income tax answers and will continue to call on his expert contacts for help in the other areas. Just email him at email@example.com with the subject line, “Ask Eustace.”
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An independent insurance agent and broker, and income tax preparer who combines over 37 years in financial services with experience as a bank mortgage administrator and Community Relations Manager.
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